Knight of the 'Net

Frank Shute frank at
Fri Jan 2 21:20:22 GMT 2004

On Fri, Jan 02, 2004 at 01:58:24PM +0000, Paul Robinson wrote:
> Peter McGarvey wrote:
> >Indeed, whilst browsning the honours lists on the BBC I noticed this
> >recipient:
> >
> >   Gary James Coutts. Stalker, Balmoral Estate. 
> >
> >Novel idea, giving a stalker a gong rather than an restraining-order.
> >
> There's a joke there about stalking and "Novell" rather than "Novel", 
> but I'll let you write it. Anyway, stalkers, on big estates like that, 
> do not break into your flat whilst your're at work, eat your food and 
> take polaroids of themselves wearing your underwear, leaving said 
> picture attached with magnet to the front of your fridge. They just help 
> toffs kill animals.

Sounds like the stalker is a bit of a toff himself - same surname as
HM's bank I believe. I suppose it's cheaper for HM to give him a gong
rather than a proper award like any other employer would. Mind you,
most other employers wouldn't give an award to an employee for
slaughtering animals.

> >>Tim Berners-Lee *and* Cliff Richard, WTF?
> >>
> >
> >Have a look at the list of them that have rejected honours...  A much
> >more rarefied stratum of society.
> >
> Now, I'm not a big fan of the honours system as it stands, however I 
> think the people who have rejected honours are being churlish and are 
> only doing so to curry favour with the media. 

Well, doesn't accepting an honour also curry favour with the media?
Aswell as swelling one's income ie. mysteriously start sitting on
boards of companies to give the company a bit of cred. I've got far
more respect for those that tell HM (Blair's proxy) to shove the gong
where the sun don't shine; they're taking a financial hit if nothing

> The best thing to do of course is to not offer them to "celebrities"
> in the first place and only hand them out to people who have done
> something more challenging than being paid millions of pounds to
> dress up and pretend to be somebody else, or sing some songs some
> people liked. 
> Plus, how can you criticise a system that gives Fred Dibnah an MBE? Who 
> doesn't want to see him accepting that wearing a flat cap?

But he wont. He'll wear a morning suit & his head will swell so much
that he can't fit his flat cap on ;) Anyway, he's another worthless
bloody celebrity. Next year I predict a Big Brother contestant will
win a gong - probably the ghastly fat one if she gets as far as
screwing Prince Charles. BTW, anybody know how well Charles' boyfriend
has done in the honour stakes over the years?

> Although, the same system has honoured Alastair Campbell (knighthood?) 
> for "service to parliament" which kind of suggests the outcome of the 
> Kelly enquiry is going to make him look like a lovely bloke, really.

You really got me worried there until you corrected yourself.
Inevitably he will get a gong & it's honouring filth like him that
makes me want to leave the country. Even I can do better than
downloading a thesis off the 'net to bolster some (bogus) arguments.

The fact that the occasional person worthy of receiving an honour like
Berners-Lee receives one doesn't mean that the whole system shouldn't
be scrapped. Although perversely, I'm all for keeping hereditary peers
- accident of birth is a far more democratic way of electing people
rather than cronyism & political patronage, although people are always
telling me otherwise.




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